Showing posts with label Drunk Nights. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Drunk Nights. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

If "Wishes Were Horses", among other trivial and not-so-trivial things

That must have been my longest blog title ever I think.... "Its high time we shold start writing the book yaar" I said to Keeda while driving back from the insti main gate after I tried (and succeeded) in snatching the lemon lick lolly that he was having. "Shit, I forgot about it... Karte hain yaar start". Now everyone here knows that the plans that he and I make seldom get completed, take CAT preparation for example. "Dekh, I can't do it on my own, I'm completely dependent on you for this... It's your responsibility to study, AND to make ME study", I remember telling him this sometime in January beginning when the blood was warm and everyone was in the phase of starting preparations for CAT and joining one coaching institute or the other. "Don't worry yaar, main hun na... main kara dunga tu tension mat le" said he, in his typical why-worry-when-I'm-there tone which harldy ever holds true though. All Keeda does is make BIG EMPTY promises and then either gets bored of them in a while, or forgets about them, or becomes completely indifferent to them without caring about the consequences. "Nai yaar, not CAT. I don't wanna live this similar-to-IIT-but-ten-times-worse-and-rigorous life for another 2 years. GMAT padhte hain and bahar chalenge yaar" was what he told me the last time I tried convincing him to get back in the CAT phase. I DID however try to force him physically as well. Almost cruched his chicken-leg-thick arm to get him to give a mock CAT until he said he would. But then agian, its Keeda, so, enough said. And as far as the book is concerned, well, lets just hope we are able to start it at least, if not finish it by the end of this year(*). But lets not digress. Ranting was not the aim of this post (that's reserved for Fridays under "Friday's Rant Post" label) so I shall get to what this post was meant for.

As the title suggests, here I shall crib about what I could have done, or would have happened, or I wish would happen, instead of cribbing about what has been happening at present (unlike my last 2 posts).

So without further ado, lets begin.

I wish I would have started learning guitar when I was young instead of when I was 18. And once I did start, I would have pursued it further and practiced it regularly. I wish I would have paid attention to the chords and what he was trying to teach me instead of looking at the hot chick sitting in the other room learning drums from another teacher. Now, my guitar is lying in some corner of my home gathering dust, and the strings are getting rusted.

I wish I would not have wasted so much of my time fighting with friends, staying angry at them, holding grudges against them. Friends, who mattered to me. Friends, who meant the world to me.

I wish Keeda, Stud_Launda, Kallu and I would have become such close friends much before. Wouldn't have missed out on so many what-could-have-been drunk nights. ;-)

I wish I was doing something more constructive and worthwhile with my life than just wasting it watching movies and getting drunk at every oppurtunity I could find.

I wish I would not have jumped over that chair on that god forsaken night that led to the state my back is in right now. (Dunno when I'll be able to get laid, if that would be possible ever)

I wish - I was going to say "had wings" but then I would hate to die in a plane crash, so lets chuck it out the window. I think I'm capable of sleeping mid air. (At least I'd like to think so)

Window reminds me, my room is on the ground floor and machharon ki sankhya din par din badhti hi chali ja rahi hai hence I can't even open the windows of my room and it is SO FUCKING HUMID AND HOT IN HERE.

I wish I was able to record the cat fight we just witnessed on camera. And by cat fight, I mean it literally. We just saw two cats, yellow-and-white colored, and black-and-white colored, fight with each other ferociously. Lets call the yellow-and-white colored cat as Alisha, and black-and-white colored cat as Sampada (first 2 names that came to my mind). Lets hope they were female :D . Keeda and I were cheering for Alisha (sorry sampu baby). So the fight went something like this : Alisha and Sampada would look at each other for 30 seconds, panting, then would meow at each other for further 15 seconds trying to scare each other off, and then one would jump over the other trying her level best to bite a chunk of skin off the other one. Now I'm just assuming that the 2 were females, I didn't really check it out. We saw the cats fighting while we were coming back from the main gate but it intrigued me so much that it prompted me to go to my room and get the camera. Anyways, the point is I could not capture it on camera coz there wasn't proper lighting. I did click some pics though with flash. By the end of 5 minutes, Sampada was bleeding and it was then that I felt sorry for her and felt remorse for watching them fight while enjoying it and so I tried to scare the 2 off but they were so "into" the fight that they did not really bother much about a 5 feet 8 inch man trying to scare them off and they still continued trying to tear each other apart. And since I'm scared of touching cats ever since a 3 day old cat baby snatched me on my hand when I was 8, I could not really do anything and Keeda said "Lets go to the room".

Cats remind me, we have a lot of cats in our hostel, and their purpose is to scare off the rats (athough, I saw a huge rat once in the mess store). And I love to play the meow game with cats sometimes. The game goes something like this : I meow after seeing the cat, and the cat meows back, and we continue it till someone gets tired or someone scares the cat away after getting frustrated listening to the two of us go meow after meow. Normally the game doesn't last more than 45-50 seconds coz the cat gets tired but I remember, the game once lasted for over 80 meows (both of us combined) in Karakoram hostel's mess while there was a eDC meeting going on some time last semester. Now its not as lame as it sounds, trust me. Its fun.

I wish people would stop butting into other's lives and for a change look into their own. I wish they would stop behaving their looser-ish selves and grow up.

I wish IIT alumni would STOP thinking about poltu and get out of the hostel mode and concentrate on what lies ahead. There is nothing worse than getting stuck in the transition phase between IIT life and further, coz lets face it, IIT life is an illusion. IIT does make you strong and independent and prepared for future life by fucking you upside down and gang-raping you at every opportunity it can find, but still, it can come as a shock-of-their-life to some when this illusion breaks and they actually get out of here and face the "real life". And that's the time when they get stuck in the above mentioned transition phase and find it difficult to move on.

I wish I was a good orator and writer and writing and public speaking came naturally to me.

I wish I was taller and not so over-weight.

I wish I'll be able to finish the previously mentioned book. I really really really want to.

That's it for now. My brain is fried and I have an assignment to make and submit tomorrow coz the rest of the 3 people in my group don't really care about it. Assholes!!!

(*) In above mentioned characteristics about Keeda in the first paragraph, the names Keeda and Sharad are interchangeable.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Whatever you wanna call it

This post was initially meant to describe a wonderful beginning to a new semester but 3 days down, I seriously doubt has been anything good so far... What was going to be a "joie de vivre" has turned into sheer pain, bad luck, and frustration. If only any of my readers were with me right now would they be able to fathom my wretched state!!!

What started off with an evening in citywalk mall ended up in a night of drinking and long drive and reminiscing the old "drunk" days and nights... so far so good... What came next was a sleep deprived day, a hangover I've never experienced earlier, not even the one I had after the "Drinking-between-the-minors----back-fucking-drunk-night", a SPLITTING headache and an upset stomach... so far so good again.. after all, i brought this on myself right? No one asked me to drink all night, sleep at 4 in the morning and get up at 6 after that just to go for a walk (yeah, i've decided to get up every morning at 0600 hrs to go for a walk to bring my screwed up 'back', back in shape). Thanx to the heat, and the classes and other 'official' work, I could not sleep all day again... Still, I was not cribbing - all my doing!!! Irritated, tired, and cursing everything around me, I somehow managed to go off to sleep that night.

The day after that I got up at 6 again and went for a walk (I'm telling you, its not a one day enthu.. I WILL get up every morning)... came back and tried to sleep for 2 hrs but I owe those 2 no-sleep hrs to all sorts of crazy, whacky, utterly useless, non sense dreams that I had which I don't even remember right now. The headache after that made me want to lodge a bullet in someone's balls!!!

A shower is supposed to make your headache better, but not when the water supply goes off and you have shampoo on your head and soap all over your body and a brain racking headache. "A drop after drop fills up a sea" but not when you have a class in 20 minutes and soap seeping into your eyes. Somehow I managed to wash the shampoo and soap off my body (which included asking some unknown guy in the next cubicle to close his water tap so I could get some water in my own!!).

3 courses that I opted for this semester, I didn't get them for I don't know what-fucking-reason. The point is I didn't and if only I had the power, I would rip apart the UG section people limb from limb. Buhloody God forsaken sons of fucking horny whory trampy bitches. Deleted my courses for no reason and now they are filled to maximum limit. And now I don't know how the mother-fucking-hell am I going to complete my credits without screwing up my back (like it was any better than the uberfucked state it already is in). 3 days and some shitty, futile, good for nothing courses later, finally I have managed to fit some courses into my time table.

Enough frustration for today I guess. Just get me a BEER someone!!!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Nostalgia... 3 Glorious Years

Three years is a verry looong time... But time passes at the speed of light in IIT... Here are a few of the moments of those three years which will remain inscribed in my memory for years to come...

Disclaimer: Explicit content... Read further only if you are 18


The pathetic performance during fuccha events; the crying after that :'(
Frustoooo...
Shampoo karna hai yaar....
Abey yaar... yeh beer thodi hai, paani hai paani
Socials; the dance; the sneaking out; the endless chats
Daily smokes outside VC
Daily thali at Shefali
"Let's go to VC".. "I'm not walking all the way to SDA".. "Bus se chalte hain".. "Shit, Rs.200 ka hookah?? nai yaar, main nai le raha".. "Fuck you, saale tujhe kya laga, mere daddy ka hai VC?!?!"
KLS
Golu
Ma, i need the pre-paid number... Everybody keeps using my post-paid and m really sick of it now (Can u think of a btr way to change from post to pre-paid so ur parents can't keep a check on your phone bills?)
Dad, I need cash... Huh? what abt the 2k i gave you last week? ... Ummm...Errr...
Kallu
Happy's pipe
Insti Roof
Drunk at insti roof
Ma, I need an ATM card.. can't keep taking money from you every week.. someone stole 1k from my wallet yesterday.. can't keep so much cash with me (Haha... the on the spot excuses i come up with!!)
Rendezvous...
Dude, don't mouth fag, you'll get mouth cancer... What the hell's mouth fagging?... Take the smoke "in", watch me.. Ahh!!
Dope; more dope; even more dope; Fuk it, this is bad shit.. 4 joints and nothing.. I'm leaving!!.. (An hour later) Damn, I'm sweating.. something is compressing me from inside.. I'm gonna die.. HELP!!
Old monk; Hooligan Dance;
Aur beta... kaunsi pariyon ko le ke ghoom rahe ho?? huh? WTF!!! get a life!
Pulse... Pathetic crowd! dirty, sweaty dancing all night; at least 1 physical fight everytime;
Keede ke ghar ka khana;

Me: saale kabhi toh kaam kar liya kar lab mei
Keeda: Abey le lenge na sample kisi se.. kya zarurat hai

FX sux... KLS was much better...
Nai yaar.. sassi nai jana... itna traffic.. dhool mitti... choohe!!!

Me: Dekha?? bola tha sample kharab ho jayega, dhang se kaam kar.. kar diya na sample ka game!!
Keeda (throws the sample in the dustbin after 3 hours of heating, stirring and more stirring)
Me: Son of a fuckin horny trampy whory bitch!! What the fuck did you do that for?
Keeda: What? you said its a useless sample!!!
Me: Speechless!!!!!!!!!!

SDA kulche chane
Sartoria
KFC KFC KFC

15 days of intense shopping every time beginning of semester
Citywalk
GK
Priya
I'm breaking up with her... This is the 15th time you're saying it... Nai yaar, this time for sure; I'm meeting her tmrw, kal hi bas.. (Next Day) Kar liya break up? Haan yaar, kar toh liya tha but then had sex and patch up ho gaya.. LOSER...
Career Launcher
Beer after Career Launcher
"Vision, Passion and Success"
Lifestyle Prelims
Broken Back
Baawa

Brokeback Mount"Him"
Gupta and "Blind" love.. literally...
Godbole, Mutthhi, Lala
Bombay intern
Herpes Zoster Opthalmicus
Baby and Tara
Catching Studapa mas**rb****ng... Whole hostel watching him!!!
Lamba and Blackie; Lamba and Bhuts: Lamba and Dogra
Gupta and D. De
Game ho gaya yaar
Count hi lete rahe jaoge tum har saal
LAN ka koi porn toh chhod de saale

Appu Ghar
Cafe Rendezvous ---> Cafe Panchsheel
Is baar toh jeet rahe hain baawa... count dekho tum count...
iPhone
Puppy ki baat baat pe lena
Mystique Heights
Glasses todna
Intern nai lag rahi hai kahin bhi.. thuki padi hai
Catching Vishu with hand inside undy.. porn on laptop!!!
Rape Rape Rape!!!
Mess worker's colony
Mess workers ki beti

Photocopies hi photocopies
Catching Vishu for the second time with hand inside undy, porn on on laptop!!
Room toh band kar leta chu@#$%
Tuition padhate hain yaar
Mezz... Mezz again...
Drunk driving
CNG station
Music Manoranjan
Bakchodi
More bakchodi
Never ending Bakchodi
Five point someones

CG se kuchh nai hota, kya karega padh ke... extra cirrics sudharo
Minor ke liye padh liyo... I'm sitting behind you...
Hangover
Headaches
13B
1920
Fraud hai saala
Bikes chain hone wali hain, hostel mei mat lagana

DG(catching me playying games on my iPhone): What the hell are you doing? I see you with that thing in my class again, it'll be your last one. Trying to show off your new gadget huh?
Me: Maam, I've had it for over
6 months now... Done with the showing off long back!!!

Abey tameez se kha liya kar yaar
Kitni books padhega? Mar jayega ek din
Almost everyday running to class to get attendance;
Entering from back (crawling on all fours) at the end during attendance;
Bhiwadi Bho&@#$
Roadie Putra
Beer
More beer
Imported Dunhill
(Knock on door) "Unnamed?? Unnamed yaar sutta de de". {Pretending to be asleep} (15 minutes later) "Guptaaa?? chal yaar sutta maarte hain... neend nai aa rahi"
Nesci...
Maggi
Stolen maggi
Sassi... paranthe...
Chai? Pagal hai kya?... Try it once... Damn this is good
OH FUKK... chooha tha yahan... I'm never eating at this place again... (Cud not stay away for more than 15 days)
Poltu and more poltu
Mummy aaj inhone mujhe zabardasti porn dikhaya.. Dean ko complaint karo please
AWHHH!!! room band kar ke kiya kar chu!@#$... din mei kitni baar maarega!!

DG: You're 20 minutes late.. get out
Me: Maam.. I'm coming from home... from gurgaon.. traffic jam
DG: not my fault.. you should have left early

Me: Maam, how could I have forseen a truck toppling over!!
DG: Fine! last time
Keeda: Saale, kitna jhooth bolega.. On the spot kaise itne super ideas le aata hai?? Room D 65 Aravali hostel gurgaon mei shift ho gaya kya?

High jumps over the chair
Neemrana trip; Vindy raped upside down!!
Hansu incident, Poltu season 1

Campus Security: What are you doing with fucchas? Complaint aayi hai you were ragging... naam do sab apne and ID cards bhi..
All of us: Are you freaking mad?? guard ke saa
mne baith ke ragging lenge hum?
Campus Security: Naam do apne... that's it
All of us: nahi denge
Fuccha: Sir aapko samajh nai aa rahi humari ragging nahi ho rahi hai... hum khud baithe hue hain yahan pe.. aapko kya problem hai...
(after 10 minutes) Lamba: Ga!@# maar dunga saalon ki.. chhodunga nahi chu!@#$% ko

Garment technology class
DG: Nikunj, Sharad... get up and sit in the front.. you will not be sitting together in my class
Next Class
DG: PHIR SE?? wot did i tell you in the last class? get up.. sit here on the first bench

TTP200
RDD750
Fraud!!
Chhod na yaar.. presentation hi toh hai.. ek ghanta pehle bana lenge...
Height of fraud!!
Nesci between labs
Keeda and his insatiable hunger
Cricket in baski court

Stud_launda and gyming
Kha kha ke phat jayega ek din
Saradwa guitarist
Ugliest holi ever
Drink Drink Drink after every minor
Footy in wing
Fire extinguisher in the ass during summers (not kidding.. ask anyone)
Buzzer rounds
Jugnu dance
Superman chaddi
Boodhi Jawani
Chingari koi bhadke

Arore.. gaadi ghar chhod de yaar... minor 2 bhi thukwayega kya?
India gate
Rating the girls
Poltu fights
Tum ladke nai ho yaar.. launde ho launde...
Ab tumhe kya set karna hai.. tumhara toh pata hi hai apni side aaoge
Pool @ Malviya nagar
awwhhhhh...DARN!!! saale kabhi toh naha liya kar... kyon naak ke baal jala raha hai
Wind t
All-niters
Call girl?? seriously?? u "that" desperate??
Kallu and cricket!

Gopi and DJ
r u chu@#$%
fuk ho gaya
Hockey and chopda and bimalwa
ohhh fucchhhh
Kitna padgea yaar?? chhod...
Night mess
Smokes from CNG
Bike accident!!!!!!!!
Second accident!!!!!!!!!
Bike phobia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OOOYEE dheere chala saale!! {Still not slow
ing down} Pleeeasee dheere chala yaar....
Kahin ghoomne chalte hain yaar.. out station..
Lamba and whining about job and CG and everything possible
Beer laun? Neki aur poochh poochh?
Fort
Ridge
Little Punjab
Subway is like a second home to me...
SDA momos
Keede uthh!! Fukkka lag jayegaaa!! UTTTHHHHH!!!
Counter Strike
Keeda: {whispering on phone}Saale bhaag ke aa... proxy pakdi gayi... jaldi aaa... saale.. mar jayenge dono.. proxy pakdi gayi.. bhaaagggg ke aaaa....

(Sem 4, Minor 2, exam 4)
Prof(After taking attendence): Nikunj Jain?? Is nikunj here??
Lamba and me : OH FUKK... (to each other) tune uthaya nahi use??

Minor uda raha hun yaar... re-minor chill hota hai...

CYP 100
Prof: Get out.. test started 20 minutes back.. you're late
Me: Maam I was in the hospital whole night... a friend was sick.. stomach ache.. was with him
Prof: Really? what was the name of the student?
Me: Ankit Gupta

Prof: Doc?
Me: Don't remember
Prof: Which ward?
Me: Don't remember
Prof: Fine I'm calling the hospital.. lets find out how your friend is doing..
Me: Sorry Maam.. was lying.. please don't call
Prof: Get out
Me: BIATCH!!!

Vegas baby!!
Strip club etiquettes
Do you tip the stripper or are the rates fixed
? Lets find out online...
Duhoode, save the pages... we'll need to g thru them before we go there

Yaar kitni baar bola hai apne room mei ek lighter rakh liya kar mere liye
Room thok diye kutton ne
Blues
TGIF
Pebble Street
Tarun's Flat
Birthdays
Maaro maaro maaro...

Ise bhi pakad lo aaj
Gang rape
Paap ka ghada
Shapath
Dedh Sau (150) baar
Sutte chhupa ke ja raha hun... Don't tell Gupta or anyone else...
Teen patti
Poker
Tv Series
More Tv Series
Tune das rupey liye the... waapis kar
No freshers events... WTF!
Mallaya and his uberfucked funde

EDC EDC EDC EDC!!!
Shouting at full volume "Fuck Bhen!@#$" in the wing at any random time when nothing better to do
R2
Ex-hall
Chussu
Movies movies movies
Sutte chhupa.. chussu aa raha hai





P.S. Thanx to Miss R U Mad for the brilliant idea to compile 3 years in such a concised manner...


Saturday, May 23, 2009

A bit too drunk, a little crazy!

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