Nostalgia... 3 Glorious Years

Three years is a verry looong time... But time passes at the speed of light in IIT... Here are a few of the moments of those three years which will remain inscribed in my memory for years to come...

Disclaimer: Explicit content... Read further only if you are 18


The pathetic performance during fuccha events; the crying after that :'(
Frustoooo...
Shampoo karna hai yaar....
Abey yaar... yeh beer thodi hai, paani hai paani
Socials; the dance; the sneaking out; the endless chats
Daily smokes outside VC
Daily thali at Shefali
"Let's go to VC".. "I'm not walking all the way to SDA".. "Bus se chalte hain".. "Shit, Rs.200 ka hookah?? nai yaar, main nai le raha".. "Fuck you, saale tujhe kya laga, mere daddy ka hai VC?!?!"
KLS
Golu
Ma, i need the pre-paid number... Everybody keeps using my post-paid and m really sick of it now (Can u think of a btr way to change from post to pre-paid so ur parents can't keep a check on your phone bills?)
Dad, I need cash... Huh? what abt the 2k i gave you last week? ... Ummm...Errr...
Kallu
Happy's pipe
Insti Roof
Drunk at insti roof
Ma, I need an ATM card.. can't keep taking money from you every week.. someone stole 1k from my wallet yesterday.. can't keep so much cash with me (Haha... the on the spot excuses i come up with!!)
Rendezvous...
Dude, don't mouth fag, you'll get mouth cancer... What the hell's mouth fagging?... Take the smoke "in", watch me.. Ahh!!
Dope; more dope; even more dope; Fuk it, this is bad shit.. 4 joints and nothing.. I'm leaving!!.. (An hour later) Damn, I'm sweating.. something is compressing me from inside.. I'm gonna die.. HELP!!
Old monk; Hooligan Dance;
Aur beta... kaunsi pariyon ko le ke ghoom rahe ho?? huh? WTF!!! get a life!
Pulse... Pathetic crowd! dirty, sweaty dancing all night; at least 1 physical fight everytime;
Keede ke ghar ka khana;

Me: saale kabhi toh kaam kar liya kar lab mei
Keeda: Abey le lenge na sample kisi se.. kya zarurat hai

FX sux... KLS was much better...
Nai yaar.. sassi nai jana... itna traffic.. dhool mitti... choohe!!!

Me: Dekha?? bola tha sample kharab ho jayega, dhang se kaam kar.. kar diya na sample ka game!!
Keeda (throws the sample in the dustbin after 3 hours of heating, stirring and more stirring)
Me: Son of a fuckin horny trampy whory bitch!! What the fuck did you do that for?
Keeda: What? you said its a useless sample!!!
Me: Speechless!!!!!!!!!!

SDA kulche chane
Sartoria
KFC KFC KFC
15 days of intense shopping every time beginning of semester
Citywalk
GK
Priya
I'm breaking up with her... This is the 15th time you're saying it... Nai yaar, this time for sure; I'm meeting her tmrw, kal hi bas.. (Next Day) Kar liya break up? Haan yaar, kar toh liya tha but then had sex and patch up ho gaya.. LOSER...
Career Launcher
Beer after Career Launcher
"Vision, Passion and Success"
Lifestyle Prelims
Broken Back
Baawa
Brokeback Mount"Him"
Gupta and "Blind" love.. literally...
Godbole, Mutthhi, Lala
Bombay intern
Herpes Zoster Opthalmicus
Baby and Tara
Catching Studapa mas**rb****ng... Whole hostel watching him!!!
Lamba and Blackie; Lamba and Bhuts: Lamba and Dogra
Gupta and D. De
Game ho gaya yaar
Count hi lete rahe jaoge tum har saal
LAN ka koi porn toh chhod de saale
Appu Ghar
Cafe Rendezvous ---> Cafe Panchsheel
Is baar toh jeet rahe hain baawa... count dekho tum count...
iPhone
Puppy ki baat baat pe lena
Mystique Heights
Glasses todna
Intern nai lag rahi hai kahin bhi.. thuki padi hai
Catching Vishu with hand inside undy.. porn on laptop!!!
Rape Rape Rape!!!
Mess worker's colony
Mess workers ki beti
Photocopies hi photocopies
Catching Vishu for the second time with hand inside undy, porn on on laptop!!
Room toh band kar leta chu@#$%
Tuition padhate hain yaar
Mezz... Mezz again...
Drunk driving
CNG station
Music Manoranjan
Bakchodi
More bakchodi
Never ending Bakchodi
Five point someones
CG se kuchh nai hota, kya karega padh ke... extra cirrics sudharo
Minor ke liye padh liyo... I'm sitting behind you...
Hangover
Headaches
13B
1920
Fraud hai saala
Bikes chain hone wali hain, hostel mei mat lagana

DG(catching me playying games on my iPhone): What the hell are you doing? I see you with that thing in my class again, it'll be your last one. Trying to show off your new gadget huh?
Me: Maam, I've had it for over 6 months now... Done with the showing off long back!!!

Abey tameez se kha liya kar yaar
Kitni books padhega? Mar jayega ek din
Almost everyday running to class to get attendance;
Entering from back (crawling on all fours) at the end during attendance;
Bhiwadi Bho&@#$
Roadie Putra
Beer
More beer
Imported Dunhill
(Knock on door) "Unnamed?? Unnamed yaar sutta de de". {Pretending to be asleep} (15 minutes later) "Guptaaa?? chal yaar sutta maarte hain... neend nai aa rahi"
Nesci...
Maggi
Stolen maggi
Sassi... paranthe...
Chai? Pagal hai kya?... Try it once... Damn this is good
OH FUKK... chooha tha yahan... I'm never eating at this place again... (Cud not stay away for more than 15 days)
Poltu and more poltu
Mummy aaj inhone mujhe zabardasti porn dikhaya.. Dean ko complaint karo please
AWHHH!!! room band kar ke kiya kar chu!@#$... din mei kitni baar maarega!!

DG: You're 20 minutes late.. get out
Me: Maam.. I'm coming from home... from gurgaon.. traffic jam
DG: not my fault.. you should have left early
Me: Maam, how could I have forseen a truck toppling over!!
DG: Fine! last time
Keeda: Saale, kitna jhooth bolega.. On the spot kaise itne super ideas le aata hai?? Room D 65 Aravali hostel gurgaon mei shift ho gaya kya?

High jumps over the chair
Neemrana trip; Vindy raped upside down!!
Hansu incident, Poltu season 1

Campus Security: What are you doing with fucchas? Complaint aayi hai you were ragging... naam do sab apne and ID cards bhi..
All of us: Are you freaking mad?? guard ke saamne baith ke ragging lenge hum?
Campus Security: Naam do apne... that's it
All of us: nahi denge
Fuccha: Sir aapko samajh nai aa rahi humari ragging nahi ho rahi hai... hum khud baithe hue hain yahan pe.. aapko kya problem hai...
(after 10 minutes) Lamba: Ga!@# maar dunga saalon ki.. chhodunga nahi chu!@#$% ko

Garment technology class
DG: Nikunj, Sharad... get up and sit in the front.. you will not be sitting together in my class
Next Class
DG: PHIR SE?? wot did i tell you in the last class? get up.. sit here on the first bench

TTP200
RDD750
Fraud!!
Chhod na yaar.. presentation hi toh hai.. ek ghanta pehle bana lenge...
Height of fraud!!
Nesci between labs
Keeda and his insatiable hunger
Cricket in baski court
Stud_launda and gyming
Kha kha ke phat jayega ek din
Saradwa guitarist
Ugliest holi ever
Drink Drink Drink after every minor
Footy in wing
Fire extinguisher in the ass during summers (not kidding.. ask anyone)
Buzzer rounds
Jugnu dance
Superman chaddi
Boodhi Jawani
Chingari koi bhadke
Arore.. gaadi ghar chhod de yaar... minor 2 bhi thukwayega kya?
India gate
Rating the girls
Poltu fights
Tum ladke nai ho yaar.. launde ho launde...
Ab tumhe kya set karna hai.. tumhara toh pata hi hai apni side aaoge
Pool @ Malviya nagar
awwhhhhh...DARN!!! saale kabhi toh naha liya kar... kyon naak ke baal jala raha hai
Wind t
All-niters
Call girl?? seriously?? u "that" desperate??
Kallu and cricket!
Gopi and DJ
r u chu@#$%
fuk ho gaya
Hockey and chopda and bimalwa
ohhh fucchhhh
Kitna padgea yaar?? chhod...
Night mess
Smokes from CNG
Bike accident!!!!!!!!
Second accident!!!!!!!!!
Bike phobia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OOOYEE dheere chala saale!! {Still not slowing down} Pleeeasee dheere chala yaar....
Kahin ghoomne chalte hain yaar.. out station..
Lamba and whining about job and CG and everything possible
Beer laun? Neki aur poochh poochh?
Fort
Ridge
Little Punjab
Subway is like a second home to me...
SDA momos
Keede uthh!! Fukkka lag jayegaaa!! UTTTHHHHH!!!
Counter Strike
Keeda: {whispering on phone}Saale bhaag ke aa... proxy pakdi gayi... jaldi aaa... saale.. mar jayenge dono.. proxy pakdi gayi.. bhaaagggg ke aaaa....

(Sem 4, Minor 2, exam 4)
Prof(After taking attendence): Nikunj Jain?? Is nikunj here??
Lamba and me : OH FUKK... (to each other) tune uthaya nahi use??

Minor uda raha hun yaar... re-minor chill hota hai...

CYP 100
Prof: Get out.. test started 20 minutes back.. you're late
Me: Maam I was in the hospital whole night... a friend was sick.. stomach ache.. was with him
Prof: Really? what was the name of the student?
Me: Ankit Gupta
Prof: Doc?
Me: Don't remember
Prof: Which ward?
Me: Don't remember
Prof: Fine I'm calling the hospital.. lets find out how your friend is doing..
Me: Sorry Maam.. was lying.. please don't call
Prof: Get out
Me: BIATCH!!!

Vegas baby!!
Strip club etiquettes
Do you tip the stripper or are the rates fixed? Lets find out online...
Duhoode, save the pages... we'll need to g thru them before we go there
Yaar kitni baar bola hai apne room mei ek lighter rakh liya kar mere liye
Room thok diye kutton ne
Blues
TGIF
Pebble Street
Tarun's Flat
Birthdays
Maaro maaro maaro...
Ise bhi pakad lo aaj
Gang rape
Paap ka ghada
Shapath
Dedh Sau (150) baar
Sutte chhupa ke ja raha hun... Don't tell Gupta or anyone else...
Teen patti
Poker
Tv Series
More Tv Series
Tune das rupey liye the... waapis kar
No freshers events... WTF!
Mallaya and his uberfucked funde
EDC EDC EDC EDC!!!
Shouting at full volume "Fuck Bhen!@#$" in the wing at any random time when nothing better to do
R2
Ex-hall
Chussu
Movies movies movies
Sutte chhupa.. chussu aa raha hai





P.S. Thanx to Miss R U Mad for the brilliant idea to compile 3 years in such a concised manner...

Random stuff...

Something has seriously gone wrong with me. There was a time when I used to finish a book in a week.. now it takes me months altogether... I've been trying to read "The Fountainhead" for over 3 years now still not been able to finish it. I don't understand what is so good about it anyways... I have at least 11 unread or half-finished novels lying with me which I bought but could never get myself to read them or found something much more interesting to watch on TV and left it in between...

Met Miss R U Mad today for a drink (Yes I know her name was changed to You Are Definitely Mad but that's too big a name to type so I shall revert back to calling her R U Mad) and frankly, I didn't find her "weird and annoying" < :P > ... Actually I like people who can go on and on talking about just anything coz I have this huge problem of coming up with topics to talk about on my own so I prefer it if someone can take charge and talk and talk. I can continue a topic but its very difficult for me to start a new new and after sometime I'll be like "Aur tello, what else is up" which gets pretty annoying at times...

Anyways we went to Mojo in DT, City Centre, and it was pretty shady to tell you the truth... I've been there once before but that was long back.. I don't like the place but its decently priced and there was Happy Hours going on so I didn't really mind it. The three of us were the only ones sitting in the entire pub... Actually, there was another couple which was there as well for some time. "Why do couples have to sit on the same side of the table? Why can't they sit opposite to each other like normal human beings? It looks like a train compartment" :D "Well, she can't put her head on his shoulder otherwise".. "Ohho... toh ghar ja ke karein na"... True actually... I don't really like PDA and I find people who do it very "ewww, get a room guys" types... Miss R U Mad got a friend along.. the poor girl must have gotten soo bored.. she didn't say a word in the whole 3 hour long conversation that the 2 of us had...

Too bad Nadal is not playing this time in Wimbledon.. I would have loved to see him being beaten by Federer just one more time.. The cabrón is out due to a knee injury I guess... It wouldn't be all that glorious when Federer wins if he didn't have to defeat Nadal.. But well, who cares as long as he's winning right?

Mom just got me Ice cream.. yaayyy... Who doesn't love Ice-cream? Specially mango over vanilla... yumm... my bro just tried to snatch it away from me after he finished his own.. the Cantankerous hag!! Well, no, not really that... But I just learned this new abuse today so I thought I'll put it in.. Come to think of it, he IS a cantankerous hag!!!

I'm planning to start studying finally for my MBA entrances... I've been telling me that for over 4 months now but something or the other crops up and I just can't get myself to start... There's TV, there's laptop, new movies coming out everyday, meeting friends, facebook, chatting on the phone, Miss Chatterbox cribbing about her love life and break up and me explaining the same thing to her "Every single day"... etc.. I'm sure you get the idea how busy life is... how to find time for studying amidst all this right?

I don't think I've mentioned Miss Chatterbox ever before... Okay she's 2 and a half years younger to me and she's this really sweet but highly insecure, immature kid (She's 19, what else do you expect) who's had a bad experience with relationships and has just come out of one and well, I'm the only sensible, mature and rational guy she knows (I know, thank you thank you)... so my days and nights are spent on the phone with her trying to explain to her that all guys that she's known are assholes and that "I told you an year and a half back that this guy wasn't good for you, but just no one listens to me!!!!!"... It's amazing how her brain functions you know... the weird, useless, absolutely brain rattling stuff that she can think of when she's sad and depressed... what if this and what if that...Phew!!! But she's a sweetheart and it hurts me to see her like that... enough said...

I think the whole facebook addiction is beginning to wear off now... It's boring and frustrating these days... Just WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY do people have to take soooo many quizzes everyday and post them on their profile for EVERY-FUCKIN'-BODY to see on their home page!! I mean who the fuck gives a damn to "What buhloody middle earth creature were you in previous life" and "What sex position are you" and "What swear word are you".... It is sooo pissing off to see my home page full of these quiz results and I'm tired of hiding them and the people who just can't seem to get a life and stop taking these quizzes and posting their results... and then there is Miss R U Mad who never misses out on an oppurtunity to make me read her quiz results and copies them and sends them to me on gchat so that I don't miss them out on my facebook page!! IRRI-BUHLOODY-TATING!!!!

Enough for today I suppose... I promise I won't take this long to write again... Ciao...

Happy Twenty Two To You!

What do you do when you have to celebrate someone's birthday in the hostel? Well, you get a scotch, you get vodka, lots of beers, lots of smokes (not for myself), and lots of chicken and you drink all night until you pass out... When you wake up finally, at night you go out with a few close friends of yours for a nice, decent dinner where you "DO NOT DRINK" and that's about it... That's how I've been celebrating birthdays for the last 3 years at least.

So, when a very dear friend of yours asks you to do something special for her bday, what do you do? (She btw has her gtalk status set as "Miss Perfect_Wife_Material wants her friends to do something very very special for her bday"). "Special"??? Seriously?? Well, We could surprise you by coming to your place at 12 in the night, but then, I don't really know if your parents would like it... and besides, I doubt I'll be able to drive for another 3 months and the other two lame-asses I'll be coming with, well they can't drive either...

What else? What else? How the hell do I make your bday a special one with you giving me a time constraint of 4 hours and a venue constraint as well - "Ambience Mall"??? What kinda loser wants her bday to be celebrated at Ambience Mall huh??? [:P :P] But considering it's you, it didn't really surprise me... So, all we can think of is to get you a yummy cake, take you to a very expensive restaurant (which you will pay for, obviously), and give you a whole mall to choose a gift for yourself ('Eyes popped' at that huh?? I know)

And dedicate this post to you as well wishing you a very very very happy birthday and pray to God that you get all that you wish for and deserve. I've already said this many a times before but I'd like to repeat that you are the most rational, practical, mature, sensible, responsible, loving, caring, hard working girl in my life. Life would not have been the same without you. Thank you soooooo much for being there. No words are sufficient enough to let you know what you mean to me. Hope you do great in whatever you do. Love ya always! God Bless! [ <3 <3 ]

P.S. Although I'm writing this post a day in advance, but you will get to know about it only after the "ambience mall" plans turn into a complete failure coz well, NRI thinks we'll ruin the surprise if we let you know we are getting you a cake {Huh??? Getting a cake for someone's bday is a surprise??? I thought that was a un-premeditated fact (if that's even a word)} - LAME, but she's your best friend so expect nothing less from her!!! And failure, since two 'almost' 22 year olds don't know how to make someone's bday a "special" one when actually that'll be your fault for giving us so many constraints but since it's your day, we'll gladly take all the blame and criticism that comes our way!!!

A Visit to the DOC!!

After almost 3 months of being at home with a spinal injury, and it not getting any better, I finally gave in to my mother's consistent demands of me visiting an accupressure/magnetotherapy specialist. I had been arguing with her for 2 months that I wont go for accupressure et al since its of no use and such things don't work, but when my cousin, who had a similar problem some time back, insisted that I go visit this doctor who he had been to, and also said that his condition had improved considerably, I had no choice but to give in.

Doc : "Since when have you had this problem?"
Me : "Around 4 months now"
Doc : "OMG! You should have come to me long back"
Mother : "Seee... I TOLD you... (To the Doc)I've been telling him the same thing for so long but he just doesn't listen to me"

This one hour is going to suck big time, I say to myself.

After 20 "Extremely painful" minutes of some wooden shit being pierced into my body at every location possible and a lot of "mental" oooh's and aaah's and ouch's, she asks me "What is your diet these days. Start from breakfast to dinner and tell me in detail" while placing lots of electrodes on different areas of my back, buttocks and leg. And I think "What are you? My Mom???" followed by "Well, since I get up at 11 in the morning...." and before I could finish what I was trying to tell her she says "Morning? 11 am is morning according to you? Anyways, continue". Wow! These sessions are going to be reeaalll fun dude.. Enjoy!! says the voice in my head. Yup, there's this crazy voice in my head that has been hauting me for at least 10 years now; it kinda sounds like chip and dale - the Disney cartooon chip and dale (the chipmunks), I'm sure you must have seen it; I think they call it "a conscience". In my case, I call it the "stupid, irritating, always telling me what I don't want to hear, good for nothing, crappy, snappy, voice", but that's just me....

Anyways, ignoring the voice, I continued. "So I have a glass of milk when I get up, and then I have 2 chapatis for lunch an-----". Interruption again, this time by my mother!
"He doesn't have any fruits, no green vegetables, no salad. You tell him, he'll listen to you" -- "Hey, I DO have salad" and then to myself "What makes you think I will listen to her???". "Well, not as much as you should have". The doc says "It's okay, let him continue"... Ahhh, the Doc's not that bad afterall, I think. "Yeah, so then I have something to eat during the evening, some biscuits, lassi maybe, and then one or two chapatis for dinner, depending on how hungry I am".
"And I thought children today were literate enough to understand the importance of a balanced diet. How old are you? 21 you say? Haven't you been taught how important are nutrients for the body? Don't you read newspapers? Magazines? There is so much awareness about all of this these days!!".... "Whoa Whoa Whoa lady! I have a mother and father at home to give me a lecture about this everyday, and you would only hope that I would listen to them, so don't even bother starting!!" --- No, unfortunately, I did not (rather, could not) say it to her. I sat there like a little girl unable to say anything. But she did not stop there. "From tomorrow onwards, you will get up at 8 everyday; (To my mom) Wake him up everyday at 8, make him go for a walk, give him a glass of milk and some gooseberries washed with water (WTF!!!!!) and some almonds... Then after an hour, give him some light breakfast (ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?????) and then give him lots of fruits and salad and curd with lunch, some blah blah blah....".

By the time she finished talking about lunch, my brain was about to explode with all the rants that the voice in my head had been giving me from the time she mentioned that I was supposed to get up at 8 and have gooseberries and I had become deaf by then (Gooseberry is english for "amla" btw, for those of you who did not know what it is. I read it off the huge box that my mom just bought from the market which was followed by a great deal of shouting and angry retorts from both sides). When finally I was able to get back to the real world around me, I realized that she was onto what I should "NOT" be having now, which included "dal makhni", "rajma rice", "chana" and a few other things after that that I cant remember coz the voice was back by the time she said rajma rice. She also added that I should not watch TV with my neck raised coz it'll lead to cervical as well!!! Great! No more late night chats, no more late night matches, and to top it all, no more of good food and TV!! Why don't you chain me up and put me in a 6 feet by 6 feet cell? (Add an AC to that please... It's fkn hot)

Finally, the beep in the machine told us that it was time and I thanked my stars for that. "So, what time tomorrow? Shall we keep it at 8.30 am?". "Kill me God... Kill me coz I can't take it any more". "Can we keep it sometime in the evening please?". "Let me check. Ummm, fine, lets keep it for 5 then. But that does not mean you will not get up early from tomorrow". If only I could imagine the jubilation my mother must have been feeling at that time.

P.S.: Moral of the story - 1. Never go to a doc with your Mom.
2. Never go to a Accupressure specialist.
On a serious note - Never get you back broken!!!!!!!!!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Well, I tried to think of a title for this post but all I could come up with was "-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*"...... After not having written for around 3 days for the lack of coming up with a topic, I thought maybe this is it... Maybe I've exhausted all that I had to/could write because I'm having a lot of trouble finding a topic to write on and as I've mentioned earlier, I'm not one who can write what I'm feeling at the time. I need random topics to write on, something that does not involve feelings... But then I thought of this female who's blog I've been following for a few days since I have nothing better to do... She's been blogging for over 6 years and for last 2 years she has been a regular blogger (no wonder she has a degree in writing)... I came across her blog in the "Blogs of note" section in which I think they choose a blog every weekday probably on the basis of the number of followers they have, popularity, frequency of updating, something like that... She's 26, married and her blog is very interesting... no, I'm not talking about the content.. the content is mostly about her daily life, her husband, etc etc.. girly stuff... but I'm talking about the way she writes, and how she can come up with topics to write on everyday.. its also amazing to see her blog having over 500 followers... So basically, for those of you who did not lose track of what I said in the last few lines, and who still have the patience and time left to continue, what I'm trying to convey here is that reading her blog gave me the motivation to come up with this...

I don't think I've ever been this passionate about anything, as I am about writing except for driving.. Okay, "passionate" about writing is probably too big a word, but I'm loving it... and being able to write 12 posts (some of them pretty huge) in less than 20 days (actually 13, but I took off one of those after keeping it there for more than a day since I realized it was too lame and stooopid) is a very very big achievement for me... In case you remember, I started my blog with the post titled "My inability to write".. so I'm pretty sure you can understand. Only problem is that my life is not happening/exciting/interesting as of now unlike Tova Darling (The female I told you about, she calls herself Tova Darling - anonymous blog because her mother-in-law revealed that she had been following it regularly and she realized that Tova was a narcissistic brat who did not deserve her son so she had to shut down her blog and started a new one... not that it matters to me or to you, so lets just call it "Totally useless information of the day".

Also, I just realized I've been writing pretty big sentences and had I been in your place, I probably would have left reading the post in between by now and done something much more productive and creative, but hey, that's just me (Also, I'm lying big time when I say I would rather do something much more productive and creative because frankly all I do the whole day is sit in a bed with my laptop and television and that's about it) but we'll come back to my boring, suck all, waste of a life later on.

This post was actually meant for describing my useless existence these days but since I've already pakaofied you enough, I'll keep it for some other time. One last thing I'd like to add is that NRI is finally back from wherever she was for the past one year, and I met her today (Also met Sunshine, Wife_Material, and Mr_Pilot, and Mr_Pilot revealed that he's been following my blog on a regualar basis - so here's to you for letting me know that you too have a pretty much trivial existence these days [:D] ), and she gave me loads and loads of kisses (Don't get all excited; I'm talking about Hershey's), and I had a lot of fun - a much needed break from my monotonous life- which makes me realize I've come up with another very long sentence which even I might not be able to understand if I read it so it would not amaze me if you could make nothing out of it... And this is where I get back to watching the India vs Bangladesh match... Catch ya all pretty soon with a description of my unessential life... Till then Chao!

Get A Life People!!!

Disclaimer : After a few misinterpretations of this post, people perceiving it as "Look at us, we are IITians and we rule the world", I would like to inform everyone that { howsoever right that may be :D } that wasn't the intention of this post... It's not to mock at those who are not IITians... and in the post when I mention non-IITians anywhere, it does not imply all those who are so.. only those who like to crib about how sad IIT and IITians are, and those who like to comment on us and criticize us.... and also to tell them that "We are what we are.. and we don't give a damn to what you think about us"... Proud - yes... Rude - at times.. Arrogant - No Way!! And not that it matters to me what you think about us, but I read this article few days bk in which the writer thrashes Atheists and how fake and miserable they are etc etc, and I got vry inspired by it and I thought of writing one about people who criticize us for no rhyme or reason...

So here it goes...

What is it that we IITians have that makes others so very jealous/insecure/under confident that causes them to pass judgments about us? Why is it that almost every non-IITian or the "Less fortunate" as I like to call them tends to make this unique weird image about us in their screwed up heads?

"You seem to be pretty cool for an IITian, quite unexpected".
"But don't you like study all day and all night long?".
"You're lying.. You can't get so much free time to do all that you're saying you do.. afterall you're an IITian".
"Eww, IITians are so desperate"

Go fuck yourself in the eye, I'd say.... Just because we have a much higher IQ than the "less fortunate" of you out there, and just because we have managed to clear the toughest exam in the world and you couldn't, does not give you the right to blab whatsoever you want to about us elite class.... Freedom of speech, you say? Go fuck yourself in the eye for the second time, we say... :D

Agreed there would come at least one point in every IITian's life when one would think that probably life would have been better had we been in any other college but for IIT... but then when you sit and think about it, given the oppurtunity, no one would trade his/her life with a DUite for example... Agreed we don't party that much and maybe our social circle does become limited to some extent but we love our life... and we can proudly say our life (both present and future) is at least 10 times better and secured than yours is... we get more vacations than you do... we go out (if not more than you, then at least equivalent to what you do...)... and it's not like we don't party.. trust me, we do... but we consider our time to be much more valuable than you losers out there to waste it on partying every night of the week... agreed we don't have mass bunks, coz lets face it, we have a few losers in IIT as well, who as we like to say, "got in IIT by climbing over the ber sarai wall :D ", but we bunk classes.. we bunk classes more than you out there and I'm not lying when it comes to that... And as far as IITians being desperate is concerned - Alright, fine, I'll give you that, some of them are.... poor creatures....

Another misconception that people have about us is that we study a lot - MY ARSE!!! Of the 4 minors and 2 majors that we have in a year, the total time spent by an IITian (excluding the good for nothing, professor's ass licking, maggu dickheads) on studying is approximately 26 days in the whole year - Hows that for a blow huh!

Maybe non-IITians would not be so unpopular if they stopped beating the drum until the hides split on their favourite topic of "IITian bashing". And the reason for that is that they feel uneducated, which they are; often rather stupid, which they are; inferior, which they are; and paranoid about us highly intellectual IITians looking down on them, which as a matter of fact, we do!!!!

So, in a nutshell, we enjoy as much as you do, we study much less than you do, we get more vacations than you do, we bunk more than you do, AND we still end up with much much better careers than you... Isn't that interesting now? Yeah we are not allowed to keep vehicles inside the campus, but ask us how many of us stil do... Yes, we don't smoke with our professors and inside the classrooms and we are not stoned half the time, but you seriously call that life? We choose to differ on that... I'd say your life could not be more fucked up than it already is, and that its high time you need some self introspection... if you spent half the time looking at your own life and how screwed up its turned out to be instead of having misconceptions/passing comments/making judgments about us, there is a slight chance that you might end up like us as well (although I doubt that could be possible) ... and seriously "Get a life people!!!"

You... Yes, You... YOU made it happen! - PART 1

Welcome to Sharad's list of You Made it Happen... The following is a collection of people or situations that made things happen (or unhappen) - things that I particularly don't like... So, its basically my way of cursing random people/situations/instances that made shit happen that directly or indirectly affected my life or even if doesn't affect me but it frankly sucks...

Disclaimer : I'll try to make it as direct as possible... I will direct it straight to people (Don't worry I'll change the names) but it is my sincerest hope that you DO get offended by it. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is one hundred percent INTENTIONAL. So, read it at your own risk. For those of you who do read it and are able to identify the character or are able to relate to the situation, please do make the person who is directly related to it/responsible for it, read it.

After giving it much thought, I still haven't been able to decide on the format of this post.. whether to blame the person for the situation, or to blame the situation for what the person has become.. So I'll just write whatever comes to my mind in whatever sequence and in whatever way... Also, the post will be divided in to parts since I don't think 'll be able to cover up everything tonight... and the things mentioned are not in order of importance.. they're based on what comes up in my messy head first and what comes after...

So lets unleash the monster (As remarked by Keeda - "I know I have unleashed a monster" - LMAO)

Eto'o and Messi : Had you bastards not scored those two fukd up goals, Man United could have won the Champion's League again!

Drogba and Lampard : You are the buhloody reason Chelsea won the FA cup final -Damn you both to hell !!

Mahatma Gandhi : Had the loser not withdrawn the Non Cooperation movement, India probably could have won its independence some 27 years before it did and we Indians could probably have been not living in the shithole that India is as of now!! Father of the nation - MY ARSE!!!

Roadie_Ki_Aulaad : Although I know he isnt directly responsible for it but I blame the son of a chimp for making me do those high jumps which fucked up my back permanently... Mfsob!!! though he can also be blamed for much bigger and dumber things too.

The doctor responsible for Keeda's birth : The fucker must have dropped Keeda coz that seems to be the only plausible explanation for Keeda's obsession with reading all sorts of crappy good for nothing books.. So yes, You Doctor, YOU made it happen (for I know if I blame somebody else the ass hole will get offended)!! You are the reason for the screwed up brain of his... :P

ASES Stanford trip 2008 : To make Mallaya into what he is today.. for converting his not so uberfucked thinking into the what it is today... The "Oh dear God, kill me before making me listen to him again" reaction by everyone around him is a proof of that... That one week trip fucked up his brain so much so that everyone in insti knows who Mallaya is and people are actully scared of what he might come up with next... its fun though to listen to him in lectures and the kind of super fucked up super pseudo intellectual shit that he comes up with having absolutely no relation to what the prof is asking or what is being taught in class... great entertainment in the otherwise dull good for nothing pathetic lectures... The jackass thinks on a complete different level, the frequency of which will probably never match with us mortals... only problem is that that level and the shit that takes place on it will make any (and even not so) sensible person cry and beg for mercy so as to not listen to him...

Rat Bastard : You are the loser solely responsible for fucking 2 years of my dearest sweethrt's life! I hope you rot in hell for all the shit you have done in this waking life of yours!

The following is being written by Keeda with a few minor corrections/additions by me at 5.25 am after after waking up the entire night being completely drunk at Puppy's flat.... Another night to remember I tell you and will go into my recording of A bit too drunk, a little crazy collection of posts... You'll be seeing that post being updated throughout the next year at least, provided I'm still vella enough to continue blogging...

Hitler : had the screwed up junkie incenerated all the dumb jews few years back and bombed London to debris may be this rotten godforsaken country of mine would have been let off by the wealth sucking greedy britishers a few years back.

Newton : what the fuck on earth did the stinking filthy shithead gain by sitting under that unintellingent tree and blaming a mystical gravitational force for his psychotic fuck all thinking acquired by a wound on the head

Einstein : when it comes to shear frustration this is the purest of all, who on earth cared or would have ever cared to dig out an unimportant foolish and completely insignifiacnt relation between mass and energy and even if somebody cared about it why didn't the above mentioned Hitler incinerate them all along with him. To hell with all the fuck all contributions and inventions and discoveries made by the loser... screwed up my 21 and half years of god forsaken living life!!!

I'll be back to continuing the post... any comments and suggestions are most welcome... Yeah, you can write them on a piece of paper and shove them up ur ass for all I care....

Umm... Err... There's no one title that can fit all I'm about to write - PART 2

After procrastinating for over a week, I'm back to continue the post I left in between else I would have probably died of fatigue (or at least that's what I thought). Part 1 of this post took me five and a half hours to write and I got so tired of it that I could not look at it for a week. Happens with me when I overdo a thing. But after listening to "That's not fair" and "people are looking forward to that post" (Yeah right!!), I finally decided to get back to it after telling myself over fifteen times that I have to do it today, no matter what... Actually another reason is that I'm very happy and over excited and my mood is good coz NRI is coming back to India after a whole year... yaayyyyy! But I'll probably express my joy some other time...

Now without digressing any further, lets get to the topic... The next person on the list is Miss Bolo Beta.

Miss Bolo Beta : Well, Bolo Beta coz that's her favourite dialogue... Anyways, I met her in 11th grade through Shampoo... started with mails, went on to phonecalls and then kind of a dry spell of phonecalls you can say, which lasted for around 2 years.. Then one fine day I called her up and we've ben in touch ever since... Starting with few hours phonecalls leading to overnight phonecalls, we became the best of friends. I remember calling her "my lucky charm" coz I managed to get through all my entrance exams with flying colors... Before I proceed, I'd like to tell everyone that Shampoo and Bolo Beta are the biggest pudden-heads I have met in my 21 and a half years of living life... in fact, I think Shampoo is much better in that sense coz at least she listens to what I tell her to do... Bolo Beta on the other hand is one person who'll come to you for advice for the smallest of things to things which actually matter in life... from "Msg me some hardcore english gaaliis asap" to boyfriend troubles... BUT still end up doing the other thing, the odds of which being the right things are generally negligible... and then she'll again come back to you crying... again I'll spend hours trying to make her understand the same thing which I would have told her earlier... But you think she'll still take your advice? Well, take a guess....

We've been through our ups and downs, from slamming down the phones and staying angry for days to spending hours together roaming around in the malls... there was a time we didn't talk for almost 9 months in between coz of some fights that we had, but I think we've come out of it stronger... well at least I have, she, on the other hand, is still the same silly, foolish girl who tells me she knows me more than I know myself and still ends up answering 6 on 13 questions correctly in the How Well Do You Know Me quiz on facebook... She's been the one person I have gone to for any sort of problem that I have had in the last few years, from How to get away from the sex freak phone stalker (Oh yes, I had a sex freak who stalked me for a month by calling me up everyday trying to have phone sex with me) to getting out of many other embarrassing situations I have gotten myself into and although we've grown apart a little bit in the past few months, getting busy into our own messed up lives, but she's always been there for me to help me get out of any problems, for any advice that I need...

अब मैं थक गया हूँ इसीलिए मैं और नही लिखने वाला।

But I'll be back with a new post dedicated to that stalker of mine and also about the most embarrassing moment of my life in a few days...It'll take me a few days coz there will have to be a lot of editing and censoring and re-editing and re-censoring of a lot of obscene stuff in that post you see... Till then chao!!

He's tired, He's exhausted

"You're awfully quiet today.. Is everything alright?" she asks him.
"Yeah.. just generally" he replies.
"You wanna talk about it?" .
"No, not really in the mood".
"Come on, it'll make you feel better" she says.
And after 5 minutes of "no" and "i 'm not in the mood to talk about it", he finally broke down...

For 2 years he had taken the news of his cancer with a smile... After constant chemotherapy and infinite meds, the pain had started to reduce and he was happy again thinking that this is it, it's finally working... and that he'd be better only to find the cancer return... It'll be alrite they keep telling him, don't worry, have faith in God... What they don't realize is how it feels to know that your life will be as fuked up from now on as anything... What they don't realize is that there is no permanent cure for cancer, no matter what you do, a slight mistake and it'll be back again staring you right in your face and telling you "Hey buddy, I'm back, hope you didn't miss me much"!!!

He's tired, he's broken, he's exhausted and he can't take it any longer.... He's sick of people sympathizing with him... It's funny how life messes with people, giving them so much at one time and then taking back more than what it gives them and then tells them "Hah! And you thought you had it all huh... Well, lets see how well you do now loser!" and it takes them all their life to put their shit together...

"I know how you must be feeling that you're the most unlucky person around to have succumbed to something like this but God gives troubles to only those who have the courage and the strength to bear with it... life is just testing you.. times change, yours will change too" she once told him... Only, he doesn't fuckin care what life has in store for him.. he's too scared to think about what lies ahead... They say that all the pain and the suffering, maybe everyone needs all of it coz you emerge out of it stronger and a better person..

What if you don't emerge out of it at all? What if this is it?... This pain, this suffering.. What if times don't change? What then?

A bit too drunk, a little crazy!

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8 things I would never do under any circumstances!

1. Pass on an opportunity to trade my brother, even if its for a beer !!

2. Buy a HP laptop again!

3. Drink on an empty stomach!

4. Date a distant cousin! ( This one is specially for someone :P )

5. High jump!

6. Hire a prostitute! ( A free one would do probably ;D )

7. Watch Ekta Kapoor soaps!

8. Get a tattoo!

(IL)literate Poet

My first attempt at a poem (if you can still call it that after reading it :D) ....
I'm warning you.. this would be the craziest shit ever written.. makes no sense.. not funny.. absolute shit.. I have tried my best to make it as absurd as possible and I hope with all my heart that if not banging your head in the wall, at least you'll scratch your head, pull your hair, curse me and cry out loud that why the hell did you ever read this (or I wrote this, whatever :D )... So here it goes :)

Whenever I read
a beautiful poem
Of summer fling
love or jeroboam
How I wish I could
understand poetry

The birds chirping
or the hearts aching
leaves falling
or banana pancakes
How I wish I could
understand poetry

Of love and hatred
Of likes and crushes
Of humor and sadness
Of hope and faith
How I wish I could
Understand poetry

I know its crap
what I'm writing
still I'm writing
what I'm writng
How I wish I could
Understand Myself (oh sorry…Understand Poetry!!!)

Whenever I read
a beautiful poem
Of summer fling
love or jeroboam
How I wish I could
understand poetry


I knooow... Don't say anything...

10 things I wanna do before I die!

Yayyyyy.. got a new assignment...

Lets start....

1. Bungee Jumping from the highest bungee point.. that's in South Africa btw... Bloukrans is the World's Highest Commercial Bungee Jump at a whooping 216 m high! - But considering the fact that I'm physically challenged for life now, I doubt that's going to happen!

2. Spend one night in any of the haunted castles of Scotland.. I know Miss R U Mad will say R U Mad to it (she might even add Freakin to R U Mad making it R U Freakin Mad which she calls as me using her stolen version of R U Mad) ... But I would looove to do it... (Anyone interested??)

3. Marooned on an island with with my girlfriend.. and to make it a bit dramatic and Bollywoodish, we can go back to Kaho Na Pyar Hai's Hrithik Raushan's dailogue "Aur jab raat ko thand lagegi toh yahi aasmaan ko oaddh ke sona aur jab bookh lage toh yahi hawa khana!!!"

4. Go on a Balloon tour of Europe like Sir Richard Branson...

5. Open a chain of Discotheques and Pubs

6. Write a book (even co-authoring would do!!)

7. Live to the day to see Stud_Launda be able to complete his bet of sleeping with 60 different women before he dies!!! (Yeah rite!! In your dreams!) .. btw I have promised him a car of his choice provided he manages to do it in his lifetime.. with no time constraints

Yes the title says "10 things I wanna do ". The initial plan was to write about 10 things but could come up with only 7!!

A Rainy Day...

It's like a daily school assignment and Miss R U Mad is my school teacher giving me daily homework to write a blog entry!! And today's home work - Behold, Ladies and Gentlemen - is A Rainy - wait for it.......................... - Day, Yes, you got it right.. "A Rainy Day".. Its more like a punishment actually for leaving this question in my Class XII th Boards... Yeah, believe it or not, but we got a 10 mark question to write our experiences on A Rainy Day and thinking that there is no way I could go back to being a 7 year old, I left the question entirely (I'm a science student, you see...it did not really matter if I scored well in my boards or not - that does not mean I didn't do well - I managed to do awesome) ..

The point is that since I left the question that day and since we could not decide on a better topic, I'm in a detention to write on a rainy day .... "I don't care even if you write 5 lines, but you have to write on A Rainy Day" she tells me.... As frivolous as my posts are, as has been very clearly pointed out by Keeda, I think I love being random when it comes to writing (not that I have done much of it ever in my life) but I'm simply loving it, be it writing about my life at IIT or the people who have mattered to me most (many ppl have told me to change the title of my last post to Me and my Girls, btw) or the gibberish I'm planning to spill out now...

Rainy day reminds me, Sunshine called me up like after a veeery long time yesterday and the first thing she says as soon as I pick up the phone is "SHARAAAAD its raining outside..." I can still fee the excitement in her voice :D ... Ironically, it rained today in Gurgaon as well.. after I came out after taking a shower (I shower every day btw), I realized it was drizzling outside, and so the first thing I did was pick up the phone and call sunshine and both of us before even saying hello go like "It's raaaiinniiiing" coz well, it was raining in Pune as well!!

Anyways lets not digress.. my assignment for today is to write about a rainy day, not what I've writtwn so far... Here it goes, 5 sentences on a rainy day..
1. I like rainy days.
2. When it rains, the peacocks dance
3. Rain also brings down the temperature
4. I love the smell of wet mud after it rains
5. I love bathing in the rain

Too lame? Alright, I'm sorry, but I couldnt skip detention... But who doesn't love bathing in the rain? or the smell of wet mud? I hate the water logged roads and the broken trees and the broken electricity polls and wires, and the power cuts when it rains though.. and I hate the mess on the roads afterwards...

Oh fuchh, my net has stopped working.. it happens sometimes when the modem gets heated up, you have to switch it off for 5 minutes, and switch it on again but since I don't have it in my room, I'll have to publish this post in the morning only... tadaaaa

Ummm... errr... There's no one title that can fit all that I'm about to write!

After contemplating for about 4 hours on what to write about(writing doesn't come naturally to me!!), I finally decided to go with this... I'll jump straight to the topic for a change... And Miss Sunshine, I'll definitely remember to use more paragraphs this time :) . and Maddy, no more IPL commentary alongside, promise... FUK, Delhi 2 down in the first over itself! ;)

I've always wondered what life would have been had people not changed.. As one grows old, one witnesses a plethora of events, some are normal, some insignificant and some life altering... They say, times change, people change... So here is a small attempt on my part to analyze that with a few instances from my life... how some people who have mattered most to me changed/not changed and what impact they have had on me during the last few years...

DISCLAIMER: All characters and instances in the following story are totally fictional. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely co-incidental!! Also, if anyone dies of boredum, the writer of this blog takes no responsibility for that... So read at your own risk.. and for those of you who did not know me till 12th grade, there is absolutely no need to read it, it'll most definitely kill you or you might end up killing me.. trust me it's THAT boring...

And so lets rewind a few years into my life and begin with Miss NRI (in a chronological order)...

Miss NRI - hmmm where to begin about this girl... The first image I have of her is from my first grade where I'm standing on the chair holding one ear by one hand and my other hand is going behind my head to hold my nose.. Yes you guessed it right, PUNISHMENT.. what was "She" doing, you ask? Well, she was the class monitor!! The next image in my mind is from our first day in second grade... both of us had shifted school - No, i did know her that time, I only knew her as the stupid, arrogant, obnoxious girl who used to punish me for not keeping quiet in the classroom - and there I see her, in my new school, and I'm thinking "Oh dear God! not her again"... There was the period when I had this huuuuge crush on her during third grade which went on for a year or two.... I remember the lunch breaks during fifth grade, the fights, the Mauritius trip, the Singapore trip, the Lucknow trip, the two times she slapped Rat_bastard :D (I love you for that)... and then came the tenth grade ... the two months of practices for the US of A trip was the period which laid the foundation of the friendship I will always always cherish throughout my life... and that initiated the process of endless phonecalls, the almost weekly fights over the most trivial of issues, getting jealous, getting possessive (over-possessive at times), getting protective... tenth grade at home was one of the worst times of my life, too much pressure, and it was NRI who was my support system.. it's she who 's responsible for keeping me sane throughout that period... what I would be without her... She's one of those few people who's had the most tremendous effects on me, giving me support when i needed it, giving me a shoulder to cry on when I needed one (not "Cry" cry), cheering me up when i used to be sad, lifting my spirits when I was low, sticking with me through thick and thin... Its not like we dint have our share of differences... we dint speak much for almost 4 years after that (I still haven't quite understood what exactly happened), but I'm glad its back to what it was 6 years back... still the twice a week phonecalls (ISD phonecalls, which go on for over an hour mostly), the leg pulling, the constant effort to irritate the other person... All in all, I'd like to say that "NRI, You are one of the best thing that's ever happened to me and I would not have been the same person I am, if it were not for you. There is not one moment I regret having spent with you, not one moment I'd like to go back into the past and change. Whatever I've been through, I've emerged out stronger with you always watching over my back... and that you are one of God's most precious gifts to me"...

I LOUUVE this vodafone exam result zoozoo ad... Zoozoo are definitely the cutest thing ever made by man... God bless South Africa... :)

Continuing with the post, the next central character is Shampoo...

Shampoo - Its been 15 years since I've known this 21 year old woman... and she's one of a kind I tell you... She's like the younger sister I never had... Every small problem and she'll want someone to get her out of it... Advice before doing anything new... boyfriend troubles... you name it!! Emotional Fool I call her....I dont really have much of childhood memories about her except one of me going over to her place with my parents and watching some stupid TV serial.. we must've been in second or third grade coz i remember it was the house which she stayed in like looong back... I remember the trips, the old hairstyle, the fringe ;) and people's misconceptions about us during tenth :) ... and then 6th December, 2005 (That rat bastard!!!) and the time which followed after that... us empathizing with each other, consoling each other, taunting each other, the daily phonecalls after every small problem that occured regarding Dec 6... then came 7th December 2007.. similar phase again... but I guess we did manage to pull through, didn't we... Oh and I've had my differences with evry other person in our small group of friends but for you (touch wood, I'm a bit superstitious when it comes to all these things) After all these years of me knowing you, and I can say only one thing - you're the dumbest, sweetest, person I have ever met... I don't know what I would have done without you especially had you not been there during that three month phase - you know what I'm talking about... Don't ever change... I love you the way you are!!

Delhi Lost to Bangalore :'( sob sob...

Moving on... We come to Miss Sunshine

Miss Sunshine: The first time I met her, it was fourth grade... I enter the classroom in the morning, see a girl in front of me in casuals and mistaking her for someone else, I wish her a happy b'day and I move on to sit at my seat, only to realize that the girl I mistook her for was sitting on the bench in front of me... Yes, Sunshine was a new student and it was her first day in skool and so she was not in school uniform... Man, how embarassed I was.. She must have thought what a jackass I am (Okay, well not exactly a jackass coz I doubt she would have even known that word by then but you can euphemize it with an idiot or a fool) ... Anyways, we all witnessed a phase where every guy in our group was madly in love with her, one at a time obviously, starting with Cute_Boy to Rat_bastard to Me (or so we thought, yes ladies and gentlemen, that's the biggest problem in India; here people don't know the difference between love, like, crush and infatuation, thanx to Bollywood, where we kids have grown up seeing movies where every relationship starts with I love you, but that's a topic for another time)... - and after giving it much thought, I've come to the conclusion that I will not get into the details of tenth grade... but after that schools got changed, and she went away to South Africa for 4.5 years... She too has had a huge impact on my life (a life altering one, I shall say) but lets not get into details about this particular case - too boring I tell you!! :P

Miss Perfect_Wife_Material: Met her in 5th grade... she was made my desk partner and people say that we used to fight like cats and dogs... from name calling to irritating each other to demarkating the desk space into 2 different areas... - Oh Shut Up!! We were 9, wot else do u expect huh!! Anyways, our friendship grew over the years and we became very good friends by the tenth standard (our fights still continued though... THEY STILL DO TILL DATE!!!)... and then both of us shifted to another school, same school that is.. there were the ragging days in the bus... I've been married to this girl where waist belt played the role of 'varmala' and shoelace played the role of 'mangalsutra', and paper cutouts played the role of agni (read fire) - Yes, my dear friends, what u just read is one hundred percent truth... we even took 7 rounds around the paper fire - a term we Hindus call 'phere' which is the same as "I do" for Christians and "Qabool hai" for Muslims... I've always admired her for being the person that she is - smart, intelligent, determined, caring.... and then the day came when we had an altercation and we did not speak for 5 years after that... Shit! what immature egoistic fools we were (read I was). I so wish I hadn't wasted those years being the stubborn asshole I was... I so regret the day we fought.. and the worst part is, it wasn't that big of a deal.. just the ego which played most part in it... anyways, glad to have you back in my life... One thing I've learnt from that whole 5 year period, if not anything else is never to let ego come in between friendship.. I ruined 5 precious years of our friendship over absolutely nothing.. I can't have that time back, nor can I make up for it, but I can definitely not let it happen again with anyone ever...

Okay, now I'm really tired and sleep deprived but if I publish it now without including the next person, it would not be fair... which leads us to Miss Nutcase_and_a_Half

Miss Nutcase_And_A_half: Met her in school in 11th Standard... She was Miss Kabootri's hostel room mate (and I'd always found her to be very attractive)... We met at the class picnic which ironically was on 14th Feb (arrey 14th Feb yaar, apna valentine's day).. yeah so we were playing truth and dare (Ugly truth and dare) and then she comes up to us and the conversation went something like this :-
Venue: Jamali Kamali
Date: 14th Feb, 2004
Me: Hey, what's your name
Miss NAAF: Hey. I'm NAAF
Me: So you wanna pay?
Miss NAAF: Yeah sure
Me: Ok
And so all of played the dirtiest truth or dare I've ever played... After the picnic, I bunked my FIITJEE class and 7 of us sat in school OAT and chatted and laughed and joked until the guard threw us day scholars out... I had developed an instant liking for this girl.. so i called up a friend in the hostel and I told her that Miss NAAF is very cute and she tells me "Sharad, you know what, she said the same thing about you"... No, don't jump to conclusions just yet, the story has a sad ending! and then came the monday when the two of us bunked 3 classes together and chatted and chatted and chatted... thus began the daily ritual of meeting outside the class after every period... (Too cheesy huh? - we were school kids people.. cut me some slack here okay! ) and the daily lunch breaks in OAT and she stealing mess food from hostel for me :) .. and the daily phonecalls on the hostel number (that bitch warden refused to give the phone to her after a few days x-( ) but noentheless we managed to use Neha Di's cell (the sneaked cellphone) and of course Neha Di calling her "Sharadeshari Devi" :P ...and the day we tried to make her into a dipsite - tucking out of shirt, pulling up of skirt, loosening of tie!!! and there she was - a proper dipsite!! :D and just when I realized that okay I'm falling for her (big time) I thought to myself, NO I wont spoil such a great thing we have going by telling her that... Blackie however could see it in my eyes and she understood it immediately but I convinced her not to say anything... and then came the heart-break (No she did not turn down my proposal, infact there never was a proposal) - She was moving back to Shillong!! Devastated I was that day (a reminder again - it was a 16 year old heart, not so used to heartbreaks)... How i tried to convince her not to go, but in vain! and so she went back.. but I did gather the courage to tell her about my feelings just before she was about to leave.. but obviously, too late... LDRs anyways dont work and for two 16 year olds staying at home? Yeah Right!! Anyways.. I came to terms with myself and decided to forget about it since nothing could be done about it... and the current status is that we are the bestest of friends... Every time we talk, its like school just got over, although so much has happened since then, but still, she brings back the memories of those 33 days i had with her in school fresh as a daisy! We met last year, when I went to jaipur, the only out station trip with friends in the last 3 yrs (Yeah Yeah, mock all you want, I noe, it sucks) - although it was just 9 hrs we spent together, I dont remember being that happy ever :) and then there were so many other almost plans to meet her this year that got cancelled... And right now she's desperately waiting for me to finish this post so she can read it asap :D :P ... All I would like to say to you is that you too are among the most beautiful things to happen to me and that the place you hold in my heart is very sacred and you'll never be forgotten.. and so won't "Cheapster and a half", "Nutcase and a half" and "All the cheapsters put together in the world and a half" :P :P (5 yrs, and still everything is so fresh, even if you beg me to, I won't forget you ever)... Love you for what you are... Thanx for being a part of my life...


Trust me I'll die of fatigue if I continue... Few other people to be added, but tomorrow!

Sixth semester at IIT!!

Well, after a few good reviews about my last post, I got excited and decided to write about life at IIT Delhi, the sixth semester actually, again after taking inspiration from Miss 'R U Mad' (but of course you have read the title, so why the hell am repeating it).. Anyways, coming to the point, I have been wanting to write about life at IIT for quiet some time now, a book probably - No, dont worry, I won't write the book, Keeda would, I know my writing sucks pretty much, I cant even write an article or a debate, let alone a book... but Keeda's one of those literary geniuses who can come up with amazing stuff when it comes to writing, be it poetry, be it articles, just anything... I'll just be assisting so that my name can be included on the second page - "Thanks to Sharad Arora for encouraging me in writing this book"... ;) No, not one of those Chetan Bhagat's Five point Someone types fictional crap! I'm talking about real IIT life, class by class, day by day, semester by semester ... Hang on! But that'll become too damn boring I guess.. No wonder Chetan Bhagat had to make it a bit too fictional and unreal!! Well whatever, lets see.. If we manage to come out with it, I'll definitely let you guys know... So, before I bore you all to death, I guess I should start about my life at IIT during the sixth semester (yeah I repeated it again, so go ahead, SUE ME!!!)

Anyways, lets start... like every other semester, this sem too started with almost daily trips to malls - hang on, getting a call... Shampoo just called me up and she's broken the whole flow.. still on the phone with her.. irritating!! ... yeah.. done with the phone finally after 20 minutes but now that she too has given me a good review about my last blog, turns out the phonecall was not all that irritating afterall! Carrying on, I was saying that like evry other semester, the frst 15 days or so this time too were spent shopping, excessively I must say, and daily lunches and dinners at restaurants in malls and drinking (what? You think I got this huge belly on my own??) and some objectionable things I'd rather not mention (not to exclude some window shopping as well)... "and Dhoni was lightning fast, he got there, took out his gloves, and it was a direct hit" .. No stupid, that's not a part of the story, it was just on the TV, kolkata playing chennai you see...Oh CRAP! Brendon Mc Cullem just got out at 81 off 48 balls! he was playing too damn good..
Coming back to IIT, yeah, meanwhile I had also applied for an entrepreneurship summit at Stanford University and had gotten a mail teling me that I had been selected, one of the 50 people to attend this week long conference - COOL HUH?? I know... So then started the whole process of almost daily meetings, and planing out the whole trip, and arranging the funding, and VISA issues etc etc. - STUPID Hussey, got run out, when there was absolutely no need for one.. Sorry, I get carried away sometimes.. the meetings continued for almost 2 months.. we managed to get the visa - a 10 year multiple entry B1/B2 - yayyyyy.. dont mind please, I got this "yaayyyy habit" from Shampoo.. dumb girl says it so often these days and you dont really know how to reply to a yaayyyy except by another yaayyy.. so... we were damn happy - the 5 of us that is... Oh I forgot to tell you about Maddy - one year senior to me, but a very cool guy yaar.... the two of us bonded pretty well during this last sem - and by bonded I mean became really good friends, that's it... anyways, the two of us planned out the entire trip, Vegas and SFO and HongKong, to the minutest detail... I'll get back to what happened to the trip a little later... The classes were going on side by side in IIT and we had decided that we'll try to attend as many classes as possible (by we I mean the 5 of us who were to go to Stanford, since we were going to miss out on a lot of attendance - I dont think I've mentioned that we are to have a minimum of 75% attendance from this sem onwards compulsary else you get an F grade in the courses, and after actually seeing it last semester, so many of us getting F grades due to short attendance, I guess every one of us was pretty shook up - NO i did NOT get any F, I'm a good boy you see) - OMFG!! kolkata just won, beat chennai's total of 188 runs.. fkn cool.. if only they had played half this better, they probably would have been in semi finals too!! -- coming back to IIT, there was this course i did, the classes for which were at 9 am tuesdays, wednesdays and fridays... GAWD, how i managed to pass this course.. thanx to keeda who put my proxy attendances soooo many times I dont even remember... and like he said "jaan pe khel ke teri proxy lagayi hai :D " I remember there were days when he called me up at 9.10 and i used to be sleeping and he'll start abusing me "Beep jaldi aa, proxy pakdi gayi, beep beep beep beep, jaldi aa or else you're dead today, beep beep beep" and I'll be half asleep and be like "What the Fuck, stop bugging me" and then I'll realize OMFG, I'm seriously dead today and rush to class in 5 minutes and sneak into the classrom at the back... FUN i tell you! Side by side, I had also attending CAT classes (for all you illiterates, CAT = Common Aptitude Test for admission to a decent B-School in India) - Fuck, they were a torture, specially the quant classes and my aptitude for quant- Keeda and Lamba would agree with me on that... Also there was the almost 4 times a week beer and the daily excessive dose of the objectionable thing I mentioned earlier going on... This was one semester where I did not study AT ALL, i tell you.. absolutely no worries about the grades, the labs, the F grades, I became "ulti chill" as we like to call it there... and so when it came to minors (twice a semester exams carrying almost 40% weightage) and majors (end of sem exams carrying 40-50% weightage) I was completely dependent on Keeda and my phone (carrying the entire presentatons and slides into the phone you see)... there has been too much of drinking during the minors and majors as well.. there was a day during minor I, the day before our last minor when something happened which I like to quote as - "It all started with a dinner in the mess, but we all ended up with one of us puking, two of us missing the exam in the morning, almost all of us locked up in the trunk of the car and driven around whole of gurgaon like crazies atleast once... and rash drunk driving, and muzic and of course a hangover!!!" (the "us" in this one night story are Stud_Launda, Keeda, Lamba and Myself) That was some night I tell you... By the end of the semester people had started telling me "Sharad, please dont get the car this time, no one has even one bit of control over ourselves and we dont know what might happen and we'll all be drunk again somewhere in your car"!! - and it happened again, and again, and again!! So many drunk nite outs this semester.. GAWD!! i pity my liver... Come to think of it, I think it was the jerks I got in the trunk of car that day and some high jumps over a freakin chair that caused my back pain, coupled with me not caring about it for over 2 months which ultimately led to a SLIP DISK.. yeah, a slip disk.. now you would ask like everyone else - "How the fuck did u get a slip disk in this young age" (I'm 21 btw) and I would give you the same answer I have been giving to everyone for last month and 23 days that I have no freaking clue... It was Keeda who did all my presentations and reports and project and covered up for me btw.. I pity him sometimes... Poor guy had to go through so much because of me... which brings us back to what happened to the Stanford/LAS VEGAS trip... we were to leave on 1st april night, spend 2 nights 2 days in Las Vegas, next 8 days in San Francisco, and then one day in Hong Kong - Maddy and I, that is - and 3 days before I was supposed to leave, the docs told me that there is no way I could go there with the condition my back is in.. so yeah, laugh all you want at my luck, but the Vegas trip got cancelled... the rest of them went of course, but poor Maddy had to cancel his trip to Vegas due to me... (I'm actually sincerely very sorry Maddy for messing up your trip)... Then there was Stud_Launda whining about his girlfriend all semester, and their break up sex and the make up sex and other kinds of sex that went on throughout the semester... (still going on I suppose)...I hope he doesn't kill me after reading this... There is another character in my story - Kallu... Well wot to say about him... Super cool banda.. No worries at all, the world is going to hell, no problem, someone's dying outside, no problem... His motto - "Who the heck cares yaar!!"... Well, so finally by the mid of the semester, our group came down to 4 people- Kallu, Keeda, Stud_launda, and me ... 4 like minded, happy go lucky sorta people.... There was also the poltu of course (read politics)... trust me you dont even want me to get started.. vaise i missed the last hardcore poltu days coz the back problem aggravated too much and i had to shift back home... anyways... Then there were the sooo many cancelled trips the plans for which were made for rishikesh, jaipur (I'm sorry Miss "Nutcase And A Half", so many plans to Jaipur got cancelled.. I wish I could have made it though, or you coming to Delhi for once, but koi na, I'm excited about our current plan :) ) chail, nainital, vaishno devi, you name it!! Someone or the other had some problem going on!! UFF!! Lets hope this trend of cancelling the plans will not continue next one year!

There were a lot of other interesting things that went on this semester, lot of other people I would like to include in this story (like Miss "Gawaar" who got so excited I included her in my last post that she pleaded I write about my second year at IIT and include her in that post as well since last semester we were not in touch that much - see i still managed to drag you here as well - Oh wait! How can I forget, I did spend a night with you driving all over Delhi and Gurgaon.. this night was just after the crazy drunk night i mentioned above btw - You owe me one Girl!! :) and Roadie_ki_Aulaad, and Jainee), but I'm too tired to write anymore and I'm sure you'd be too fkn bored by now as well.... All in all, I would say that this sem by far, has been the bestest of semesters in my IIT life, one of the best times of my life, a (im)perfect blend of fun and happy moments and sad moments and drunk moments, the most happening, the most evenful and I'll remember it throughout my life... Not trying to sound gay, but I'll miss Maddy as well, he'll be leaving this year (I'm kinda disappointed u managed to clear ur degree on time jackass :D )

So lets just leave it here.. and I'll get back to continuing the story further in a few days maybe.. Till then enjoy reading the crap I've writen so far..

Wow, 2 posts in less than 24 hours and I thought I could not write huh!!!