Maa kharid bhi lo ab pleeeeaseee!!!

Ever been for shopping with your mom? Okay maybe you have... But have you ever been for shopping with your mom when "she" is shopping? Believe you me, it's an ordeal at the end of which you'll feel like hitting your head hard on the wall !!!

"Maa, are you not u sick of wearing salwar suits? You've been wearing them for what, since ever!!! Kuchh toh change karo!!!". And so began the daily go-buy-a-jeans-and-a-top-no-way-i-won't sessions when finally my dad gave maa an ultimatum that if she won't go shop today, he won't eat lunch (yeah, I know its lame but I guess moms get emotionally blackmailed by such stuff.. you can't really expect dads to give the standard bollywoodish if-you-won't-i'll-leave-this-house-and-go-to-my-mom's-place dialogue, now can you?). Mom gave in finally and dad called masi to "help" mom shop (it was her first time buying anything but suits and sarees you see) - thank god for that else I probably would have left her at the showroom and come back home!!

Okay tell me frankly... how much time does it take you to buy a pair of jeans and some shirts? I'd say 30 minutes tops... So the first 30 minutes were fine (coz well, I was myself buying a shirt and a jeans for me). The next 30 minutes were spent trying to convince her that she actually was looking good in them. So she bought a jeans and a top. (Finally, I said to myself). I'm generally a very patient man when it comes to a female companion shopping... I give my honest opinions about how she's looking, about what to buy and what to not, and I quietly tag along to every store she wants to go to and as many clothes she wants to put on (Indirectly ladies, I'm trying to say I'm a good boyfriend material ;D ). But I digress.

Getting back to the glass seat outside the trial room (I had a bad feeling it might break if I sit on it but the fact that I'm writing this post confirms that it did not!!). But since masi had come all the way leaving my 11 month old niece at home, she was bound to buy something for her as well. She wanted to check out some stuff for my niece at a store called "Sweet Child of Mine"... Okay, I'll sit at Costa while you shop... 30 minutes more spent drinking "Blended coffee" and playing Knights of Honor on my phone!! (Its a stupid lame-ass game but I had nothing btr to do). "Can we go now? Please?". "Yeah lets". But ladies are ladies you see... "Oh CTC Plaza... I need to buy some suits as well". "There we goooo!!".

You know what's the worst part about going for shopping with women?? It's not the seemingly endless amount of time they take to choose stuff.. It's not even the unlimited number of things they try on. But that they'll spend an hour at a store, trying out every possible thing they can and STILL END UP NOT BUYING ANYTHING at the end of it because supposedly either the print would not be good, or the material would not be to good, or the design would be too old, or it would not be worth the price et al. So, after 28 minutes and 53 seconds at CTC Plaza (I got a call the moment she entered the showroom and luckily I was still on the phone when she got out, hence the exact time), she came out empty handed, but considering my "cool and patient" nature, all I said was "Are you kidding me? Half an hour and you come out without buying anything??". Pretending to not hear me, the two women entered another showroom. Yes brothers and ladies, another showroom!!! Pity those guys at ladies' garment's stores who spend their entire day opening and folding clothes again and again only to find that te customer buys nothing at the end of everything... But then I guess they'd be pretty used to it...

What ensued after entering this showroom called Penny Lane frustrated me to the core. Penny Lane - what kind of a looser-ish name is that anyways!!! "Could you please check if they have plain black T's in Small size at Levi's and Penny Lane?? My dog tore my favorite black T.. That bitch!!!" says Miss Chatter Box on the phone... "Haan bas isi ki kami thi"... "Pliz pliz na".. Fine!!! "How sweet.. thankyou soo much"... After going through 2 showrooms and describing all types of plain black tops that were there (unluckily, Penny Lane had too many), I was in no position to help maa and masi with their shopping... "What the hell are you doing with me if you had to be on the phone the whole time and not help me??".. "I don't know, you tell me maa!! Okay sorry... What now??".. "Help me pick out stuff"... This time it took them an hour to select 3 tops for her with a few telephonic do-you-have-any-plans-of-coming-back-today-or-not interruptions by dad...

Son of a bitch Murray... From 2-5 in third set to 5-5... Arsehole!!!

Finally, we came back home.. But that was not all my dear friends... Bhabhi was called in the evening to confirm that she was indeed looking good in those clothes - As if 3 people who already did tell her that a hundred times were naught but fools... Followed by another hour and a half of trying on everything and re-trying until she was finally convinced herself!! Phew!!!

The point I'm trying to make here is that it'll never be possible for us men to understand why it is nigh impossible for women to just go into a store, pick out stuff whatever you like without pondering over what to buy and what not to and scrutinize each and every inch of th garment piece. But then I guess these are the few things that make a women what she is... So, I suggest let it be and you too try converting yourself into this calm and patient co-shopper or a tag-along shoppper when you are going with a woman... It'll take time and self restraint but I'm sure you'll indeed come through one day - I HAVE!!!