Sunday, May 31, 2009

You... Yes, You... YOU made it happen! - PART 1

Welcome to Sharad's list of You Made it Happen... The following is a collection of people or situations that made things happen (or unhappen) - things that I particularly don't like... So, its basically my way of cursing random people/situations/instances that made shit happen that directly or indirectly affected my life or even if doesn't affect me but it frankly sucks...

Disclaimer : I'll try to make it as direct as possible... I will direct it straight to people (Don't worry I'll change the names) but it is my sincerest hope that you DO get offended by it. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is one hundred percent INTENTIONAL. So, read it at your own risk. For those of you who do read it and are able to identify the character or are able to relate to the situation, please do make the person who is directly related to it/responsible for it, read it.

After giving it much thought, I still haven't been able to decide on the format of this post.. whether to blame the person for the situation, or to blame the situation for what the person has become.. So I'll just write whatever comes to my mind in whatever sequence and in whatever way... Also, the post will be divided in to parts since I don't think 'll be able to cover up everything tonight... and the things mentioned are not in order of importance.. they're based on what comes up in my messy head first and what comes after...

So lets unleash the monster (As remarked by Keeda - "I know I have unleashed a monster" - LMAO)

Eto'o and Messi : Had you bastards not scored those two fukd up goals, Man United could have won the Champion's League again!

Drogba and Lampard : You are the buhloody reason Chelsea won the FA cup final -Damn you both to hell !!

Mahatma Gandhi : Had the loser not withdrawn the Non Cooperation movement, India probably could have won its independence some 27 years before it did and we Indians could probably have been not living in the shithole that India is as of now!! Father of the nation - MY ARSE!!!

Roadie_Ki_Aulaad : Although I know he isnt directly responsible for it but I blame the son of a chimp for making me do those high jumps which fucked up my back permanently... Mfsob!!! though he can also be blamed for much bigger and dumber things too.

The doctor responsible for Keeda's birth : The fucker must have dropped Keeda coz that seems to be the only plausible explanation for Keeda's obsession with reading all sorts of crappy good for nothing books.. So yes, You Doctor, YOU made it happen (for I know if I blame somebody else the ass hole will get offended)!! You are the reason for the screwed up brain of his... :P

ASES Stanford trip 2008 : To make Mallaya into what he is today.. for converting his not so uberfucked thinking into the what it is today... The "Oh dear God, kill me before making me listen to him again" reaction by everyone around him is a proof of that... That one week trip fucked up his brain so much so that everyone in insti knows who Mallaya is and people are actully scared of what he might come up with next... its fun though to listen to him in lectures and the kind of super fucked up super pseudo intellectual shit that he comes up with having absolutely no relation to what the prof is asking or what is being taught in class... great entertainment in the otherwise dull good for nothing pathetic lectures... The jackass thinks on a complete different level, the frequency of which will probably never match with us mortals... only problem is that that level and the shit that takes place on it will make any (and even not so) sensible person cry and beg for mercy so as to not listen to him...

Rat Bastard : You are the loser solely responsible for fucking 2 years of my dearest sweethrt's life! I hope you rot in hell for all the shit you have done in this waking life of yours!

The following is being written by Keeda with a few minor corrections/additions by me at 5.25 am after after waking up the entire night being completely drunk at Puppy's flat.... Another night to remember I tell you and will go into my recording of A bit too drunk, a little crazy collection of posts... You'll be seeing that post being updated throughout the next year at least, provided I'm still vella enough to continue blogging...

Hitler : had the screwed up junkie incenerated all the dumb jews few years back and bombed London to debris may be this rotten godforsaken country of mine would have been let off by the wealth sucking greedy britishers a few years back.

Newton : what the fuck on earth did the stinking filthy shithead gain by sitting under that unintellingent tree and blaming a mystical gravitational force for his psychotic fuck all thinking acquired by a wound on the head

Einstein : when it comes to shear frustration this is the purest of all, who on earth cared or would have ever cared to dig out an unimportant foolish and completely insignifiacnt relation between mass and energy and even if somebody cared about it why didn't the above mentioned Hitler incinerate them all along with him. To hell with all the fuck all contributions and inventions and discoveries made by the loser... screwed up my 21 and half years of god forsaken living life!!!

I'll be back to continuing the post... any comments and suggestions are most welcome... Yeah, you can write them on a piece of paper and shove them up ur ass for all I care....



3 comments:

Miss_i_need_a_new_name said...

I loved reading about all BUT one (i think u know which one)... specially the first few are hilarious. Man, I feel like I know your keeda friend- which is indirect praise for your descriptive ability. The disclaimer is particularly nice!!!

Hate to admit it, but you are FUNNY :P !!!

Neha said...

this is totally screwed up.
messi was super brilliant in the match. infact barca was all over man u idiots. stupid shit

Sanchi said...

hehe hilarious stuff!!
and i've learned a lot more gallis im sure i can use...so a post put to good use...cheers!

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